Key 12: Live a Great Life!

So now it’s time to live! Jeremiah 29:11 says, “ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD,‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ ” Just as God spoke to Jeremiah about having a plan for Him, God also has plans for us as individuals. His Word teaches us that before we were born, He knew us. Living a great life is not accomplished through our own planning, but through walking out the plan that God already has for us. The issue is that if we want to know the best plans we could ever live, we have to go to God. He reveals these plans to us through His Word and through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. God has already established these plans, but it is just up to us to live them out.

God’s plans are always good for us and never meant to hurt us. Prosperity in the many different areas of life demonstrates that we are following God’s plans. Most of the pain in our lives demonstrates that we are out of God’s will and trying to live out our own plan. Even if we experience pain along with God’s plan, in the end it will be worth it because of the greater benefit of what God wants to achieve. God even uses times of trial to make us stronger, have greater faith and build character, which leaves us better off in the long run. pp. 103-104

One of the most exciting things that I began to experience as I committed to follow Jesus was that God had a more exciting plan for me than I could ever get for myself! This was incredible because I had lived a life where I totally went for it every day of my life, but it got emptier and emptier. I walked away from all of the things that I thought would make me happy but never did, to find out that it was in my relationship with Jesus where true adventure and fulfillment would be experienced.

Maybe your a million miles away from God right now or maybe you have a relationship with Jesus but life doesn't seem as good as it could be. Either way, let go of the past, let go of your plans and go for God's plans! You'll be glad you did!

Prayer: Lord, teach me to live a great life! Teach me to let go of anything and everything that is in the way of me walking out the plan and purpose that you created me for. Help me to keep growing in all areas of life so that I can achieve my destiny. I pray this in Jesus name - amen.

Overcoming the Enemy of Fear

Fear is your enemy. It will paralyze you and hold you back your entire life if you let it. Fear is not just an emotion, it is actually a spiritual thing. In 2 Timothy 1:7 it says, “For God hath not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind” (KJV). Fear is a spiritual issue and it is not God’s will for your life. The Spirit that God gives us results in power, love and self-discipline. This means the more you invite Jesus into your life, and allow Him to lead you in every area, the more you will experience power, love and self-discipline. God’s Word also says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment” (1 John 4:18).

This means that the more we grow and experience God’s love in our lives, the love of God “drives out fear”. You can stand up against fear and begin to walk in peace and confidence. Taking risks will no longer be scary. It may be uncomfortable to take risks but it will not be fearful. You will also learn to give yourself freedom to succeed. You will also open up the opportunity for failure, but it will be greatly reduced and you won’t put yourself into a position where you will experience devastating failure. Wounded Heart pp. 99-100

Risk taking should actually be an adventure in our lives. I love going after accomplishments that others say are impossible or won't even try to do. It is exciting to hear from God about what He wants to do and then go for it! I have learned to live without fear of failure. Even in failure, you can learn so much! When you follow God's leading, which is guided by His wisdom and love, fear is not even an issue.

Prayer: Jesus, help me to know and live in your love in a greater way! Please lead me into my purpose in a greater way guided by Your wisdom! I pray this in Jesus name - amen.

Risk Taking is a Necessity

God created you to live an exciting and powerful life. He created each of us with a purpose, and living out your individual purpose will be the most fun, most fulfilling life you could live. Many people never live out this purpose because they stay stuck in the past. Satan also wants to keep us in a static position. He wants to remind you of pain and failure, and fill you with fear to keep you stuck in your past. Satan wants to convince you that you can’t change or grow or be healed. Those are all lies. Wounded Heart p. 99

There is a saying that a person can be "like a deer caught in the headlights". Deer are beautiful animals but I don't think they are very intelligent. They live mostly by instinct. Deer often cross roads at night time because they don't understand the danger. When a car comes and the deer is in the middle of the road, something shuts down in them when a car comes. They actually freeze when they see the headlights of the oncoming car. They have the ability to escape but when they are paralyzed with fear, they often get hit and killed.

If we are not careful, we can be like that deer, paralyzed by fear and uncertainty of what is coming towards us in life. Just like that deer, we have the ability to move and be safe, but we must not get paralyzed with fear. I heard someone say that fear is actually faith in failure. I don't like failure but I refuse to let it paralyze me. I have decided to always continue moving forward even in pain and confusion. It is often as I move forward that God's presence and direction come into my situation.

Once you have clear direction from God, you are ready to go for it! This risk taking is a necessity to live life to the fullest! I refuse to be limited by my past or my present. An amazing thing happens as we struggle forward, most people never understand of see our struggle, they just see the results. When you fail, people just see that and don't appreciate the effort. When you succeed, they often assume it was easy! Either way, we can't live by what other people think or feel. Pray for direction, hear God's voice and go for it!

Prayer: Jesus, in Your Word, you declare that Your sheep hear Your voice. Guide me and direct me and help me have the courage to take wise risks according to Your will and in Your power! I pray this in Jesus name - amen!

The Abundant Life Means Taking Risks

Pain, failure and disillusionment can have a paralyzing effect. God has much more planned for your life. Jesus said in John 10:10, AMP, “I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)”. God doesn’t just want to heal you. He wants to make you whole, live in confidence and begin to take wise positive risks. Nobody ever achieves greatness without taking a risk. No one ever gets a new job or promotion or begins a new relationship without taking a risk. In fact if we want to achieve and experience the greatest things in life, we have to be progressively greater risk takers. Wounded Heart p. 98

Accomplishments require risks, great accomplishment's require taking great risks. It is easy to look at successful people and think that it was easy for them to achieve what they have done. I have learned that successful people have earned it. In my experience, people or the world don't just hand you things, you have to go get them!

I've come to a place where I applaud successful people because I understand the personal price they have had to pay to achieve things. Great marriages cost. Friendships cost. Any accomplishment worth having costs. Along the way are many opportunities to get side tracked, get tired, fail or quit.

But we serve a God that says we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us!!! (Phil. 4:13). I encourage to seek God daily, ask Him what He wants you to go after today and in the days ahead, and learn to rely on the strength of Jesus on a daily basis.

When we understand what God has created us to do and walk in His power, there is risk but there is also great reward!

Prayer: Jesus, I need your strength and wisdom today. Direct me today to what I should focus on and help me to see the big picture. Teach me to plan my life so that I can achieve all the purposes and the abundant life that you created me to live. I pray this in Jesus name - amen!

Key 11 – Be a Positive Risk Taker

Too many people live timid lives. They have been hurt and want to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. My experience is that many people who have gone through hard times or faced difficult situations will do the minimum to get by and get on with life. Past disappointment can make us fearful of taking risks or cause us not to try our hardest because of the possibility that there will be no benefit or reward at the end of the day. Wounded Heart p. 97

The devil plays games with people. He tempts them to do stupid things and then after that piles guilt and shame on them so they are afraid to try something new. The problem with that is that God is always doing something new. If we are paralyzed by the pain or disappointment of our past, we will miss out on what God has for us.

Throughout this book and the blog posts, we have taken many steps in the right direction. I am not talking about taking foolish risks or even unclear risks. I am talking about taking wise risks.

Wise risks are things like going for a promotion, writing a book, switching jobs, beginning new relationships but at the right time, in the right season and with both eyes open (and paying attention - LOL).

Jesus came that we may live life more abundantly and that will take some risks!

Prayer: Jesus, help me to be bold and take wise, positive risks. Lead me away from foolish risks and help me see opportunities to live life in a greater way. I pray this in Jesus name - amen.

The Importance of Family and Friends

Our Family is Part of our Support Team

For some, family is the most important thing in life. For others, it is not a priority. For many, family is important but the responsibilities of life can be overwhelming. I have seen studies where they attach microphones to small children and the average time that some fathers spend talking to their children is less than two minutes a day! Many people have also grown up in broken families or been raised by single parents and may have no idea of what healthy family life actually is. Whatever your situation, I encourage you to build your family in whatever ways that you can. You will be happy you did.

Friends –Finishing Off Our Team

We need good friends for many reasons: for support, encouragement, acceptance and just to have fun! Friends can supply a listening ear, loving advice and stability over time. We also often do the things our friends do. This is why it is important to have friends that have great values and goals in life. We will either soar like eagles or wallow through the mud with our friends. Choose your friends wisely. God built us for relationship with Him and with people. We need both. God has a great destiny for us, but we need a team around us that will help us reach that destiny. Life has risks and challenges. The greater the team we surround ourselves with, the more positive risks we will be willing to take and the greater challenges we will be able to overcome. Wounded Heart p. 95

When we invest in our family and friends, the payback is huge. Friends and family also can meet so many of our social needs and support and encourage us in both good and bad times. I have had to learn what it means to build a strong family and to stay connected with good people. Our culture can make both difficult but that means that we should focus on it more than ever!

Prayer: Jesus, help me to build solid life giving relationships with both family and friends. Teach me how to do this and how to change or break unhealthy relationships in my life. I pray this in Jesus name - amen!

The Importance of a Church Family

The Church is not a building. It is the people who have made a choice to follow Jesus Christ. While there are many church buildings, in God’s view there is only one “Church.” This is not based on what man has established, but on what God has established. What makes a person a member of God’s church family is repenting from sin, putting all of their hope in the forgiveness of sin through the shedding of Jesus’ very own blood during the crucifixion and submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. God established the Church for a couple of purposes. Community and friendship are two of the main purposes. The original words for “church” in the Bible literally meant a group of individuals who had no purpose and were given an individual purpose at the same time, connecting them with others for a purpose greater than themselves. There are many benefits to having a church family in addition to connecting with people who may share your faith but attend another church. Here is God’s advice to us:

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing,but let us encourage one another— and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25)

These two verses, give us some great direction. First, we must purposely think about how we can encourage people to love one another and do good things for others. This lets me know that I may not demonstrate love and good deeds without the encouragement of others. Second, is that we need to purposely meet together. I’ve found out that if I don’t purposely schedule times to get together with people, it won’t happen. Wounded Heart p. 94

Fish swim in schools literally because they are less likely to be eaten! Our church family, our brothers and sisters are hugely important! We grow best in situations where we are loved, encouraged and supported. This is what the picture of our social circles and churches should look like!

Prayer: Jesus, help me to connect with people who will encourage and support me as I grow. Give them wisdom to help me grow into all you created me to be! I pray this in Jesus name - amen.

The Holy Spirit, Your Personal Coach

In sports, there are many coaches. In baseball, there are base coaches that watch where the ball is on the field and tell the runner to either stop at the base or keep running. In basketball and football, the coaches are always yelling instructions to the players on how to react to the current situation and discussing past and upcoming situations in the game during time outs and half-time breaks. If grown men and women need coaches to help them win a game, don’t we need a great coach to win life? God’s Word teaches us that “those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God” (Romans 8:14). The word “sons” when literally translated means “maturing ones.” This means that those of us who are maturing in our relationship with Christ will be led by the Holy Spirit. And the more we mature spiritually, the more we will be led by the Holy Spirit. In the same way that sports coaches are more knowledgeable as an athlete proceeds through grammar school, high school, college and into the professional ranks, as we mature in our faith we get greater coaching from the Holy Spirit.

In the same way that a 10 year old would not be able to receive college level coaching, spiritually immature people are not ready for the type of guidance God really wants to give them. That is why ongoing spiritual growth is so necessary.

Many people spend their entire lives in church but don’t receive the guidance God wants to give them. That’s because they have not purposely chosen to spend time with God and discipline themselves to have a life of prayer and Bible study. God has all the direction we need. We just have to put ourselves in the position to receive it. The Holy Spirit is ready to guide us in the midst of everyday life. He also wants us to take some time-outs to receive advice and direction before we head back into the game of life. In sports, time-outs are often taken at the most important time or when there is a momentum shift for the other side. It’s just common sense then that during life’s most important situations or when our lives look like they may be taking a turn in the wrong direction, that we call a time-out and get with God. The difference is that it will probably take longer than a 30-second time-out to get all the direction we need. My advice is to take all the time you need with God, be patient and it will be worth it in life. Wounded Heart pp. 92-93

Prayer: Lord, I come to you asking for your guidance. Give me ears to hear your voice and your direction. Teach me to be patient, to listen and to follow Your direction. I pray this in Jesus name - Amen.

Jesus, Your Head Coach

Jesus is all about relationship. “Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. He appointed twelve—designating them apostles—that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach” (Mark 3:13-14). When Jesus chose a group of uneducated and unimpressive men to be His followers, He knew the great things that they needed to do. The secret to doing great things is not just education or going to church or being really smart, it’s developing the character of Jesus. He didn’t expect people to become more like Him simply by going to church or knowing about Him. He knew that in order for us to be transformed and changed, we must spend time with Him. Unfortunately, most people think that means just going to church and trying to be a good person. We should do these things, but that is a small part of having a relationship with Jesus. He not only wants to be with us, but also to lead us the right way in all of the complicated situations that we face in life.

In John 8:12 He says, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” This is not only talking about eternity, but walking out our lives day by day. “Whoever” is one of my favorite words in the Bible because I fit the qualifications and so do you. Wounded Heart pp. 91-92

As we have journeyed through some pain. We have learned to trust God in the middle of pain. One of our goals at this point besides ongoing healing is avoiding future pain. I'm not saying that life will ever be pain free, but we can avoid almost all of the potential major crashes out there if we are wise and make right choices.

Much of our pain is because we have walked in darkness. Darkness are things like fear, pain, confusion, low self-esteem and lack of wisdom. Jesus can help us go through and overcome all of these and other things in our lives.

As we walk with Him, we will become more like Him. He will also lead us, all we have to be is a "whoever". Jesus is ready and willing to help us but just like a player on a team. If we want to win the game, we have to listen to the coach. Remember that Jesus is the all knowing, all powerful coach. In fact, we have the greatest coach to win the game of life!

Prayer: Jesus, thank you for accepting me as I am, and walking with me as I change and grow. I choose to follow you, help me to clearly hear Your voice and follow. I pray this in Jesus name - amen.

Building the Winning Team

The winning team needs to be both spiritual and natural. Many people are so focused on the natural relationships with family, friends and business connections that they neglect their most important relationship with God Himself. The reality is that we need to surround ourselves with good people, but we need God to help us the most in our lives and in these other relationships as well. Other people are so focused on God and think that they don’t need to build strong relationships with people, but that is also not wise. Part of the benefits of having a relationship with Jesus is that His blessings, guidance and power will also help us in our natural relationships. Pg. 91 Wounded Heart

One of the greatest challenges people have is overall balance and life development. Some people are great with people but spiritually lost. Others are great spiritiually but not good with people. God wants us to have great relationships - both spiritual with Him and with people.

God should always be our rock and foundation but the reality is that we often get lost in emotions or tough situations where we may not think clearly. This is when it is important for us to have people we can go to who will help us keep going in the right direction.

The Bible teaches us many things - Iron sharpens iron - that means that people of faith make each other sharper and better! Also that victory comes from many counselors. These can be friends, family, pastors etc.

Over the next couple of posts, we will look at some of the key players we need on our teams!

Prayer - Jesus, I ask you to lead me more and more and help me to follow Your guidance and direction. Help me also to be wise in choosing my friends and help me to purposely build strong relationships with the people who will help me when I need. I pray this in Jesus' name - amen.

Who Are You Trusting For Eternity?

We often spend much time and energy looking for someone we can give our hearts to and trust. Jesus is telling us that we don’t have to be troubled. That means we don’t have to be confused or stressed out because we can trust Jesus. He will never break your heart, and you can depend on Him at all times. Not only that, but He will guide you in all situations and direct you the right way. Once you have this relationship set, all the others will fall in place. If you have not already begun this most important relationship in your life you can do it now with a simple but powerful prayer:

Dear Jesus, I want to know You. I have sinned against You and am sorry. Thank You for dying on the cross to pay for my sins. Come into my heart, forgive my sins. I am trusting You for all eternity. Today I choose to follow You and put You in charge of my life. Guide me in all that I do and help me to know Your love and plan for my life. I pray this in Your name, Jesus. Amen.

If you just prayed to receive Jesus into your heart as Lord and Savior, congratulations! You just did the greatest thing you could ever do. You just began the most important relationship in your life! Just like any other relationship, the more time you invest in it the more it will grow. Jesus will fill many of those desires in your heart. He also will teach you all about true love. This will give you a guide to measure all of your other relationships. When you begin this relationship, you open your heart so that He can heal it from past hurts. I have experienced this myself. pp. 88-89 Wounded Heart

We all desire to trust someone. In fact we have to trust someone. The first someone should be Jesus. We can totally 100% trust Him. After we put our trust in Him, He will also guide and teach us how and when to trust others. People are not perfect, only Jesus is. He wants to first give us comfort and security which will help us be much wiser in our other relationships.

Key 10 - Building a Winning Team

Winning teams don’t just happen. They are built. There is a boss or head coach that orchestrates the team building process. You have to be the one who purposely builds a winning team to help you win in life. Many people go through life without ever thinking about the importance of surrounding themselves with as many great people as possible. I have also met individuals who think they can make it without the help of others.

There is a saying that “the banana that is away from the bunch is the first one to get peeled.” This saying is letting us know that we are safer when we are surrounded by others than when we are by ourselves. The reason that fish swim in schools is that they are less likely to be eaten when they are with others. In the same way, it is wise to surround ourselves with family, friends and church members who love us and are there to help us. Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto! The Bible also teaches us that we will have victory when we have many wise counselors: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” (Proverbs 15:22). Wounded Heart pg. 87

Over the years, I have had to learn the importance of connecting and surrounding myself with good people. Whether you are talking about personal friends, fellow workers or business relationships, we need to connect with good people. The older I get, the more I realize I need more advice not less and more support not more independence!

God has created us for relationships and our relationships determine our direction and quality of life. The more diligent we are with surrounding ourselves with great, positive people the better our lives will be. This is also one of the keys to protecting our hearts, choices and overall direction of our life. When we get weak, confused or just tired we need our team even more. Our team should consist of friends, family and our church. If we get the right people in our lives this will go a long way in living a great life!

Prayer: Lord, I pray that you will help guide and teach me to build relationship with people who will help me win in life. Help me take responsibility for my friends, relationships and acquaintances that they would be healthy and life giving. I pray this in Jesus name - amen!

Let Go and Let God

When we hold on to things it is because we are trying to fix our own problems. When we do that we are basically telling God that we can handle it and don’t need Him to help us. Since God has given us a free will to make choices in life, He respects our decision to handle it ourselves. The reality is that we can use all the help we can get. When we intentionally let go of something we can then invite God to enter into the situation and begin to change it, transform our minds and heal our wounds. These are the times when we learn how to experience the power and presence of God in our daily lives. It is also what He wants to do. My prayer is that you choose today by your free will to let go of that painful thing and let God come into your situation. I have also learned that when I follow His direction in my life, I learn a whole lot of things along the way. Wounded Heart p. 85

I have had to learn over time that I can't solve all of my problems and change the people who cause me stress! I have learned to invite God into my circumstances and let Him deal with some folks! He gives us a peace greater than we can understand if we will trust Him and rest in Him.

Holding onto the thing that caused us pain is like getting dirty or stepping in some smelly stuff and not cleaning off ourselves or our shoes! We wouldn't walk around smelly or dirty if we didn't have to. We also carry along a lot of stinky baggage that we don't have to. You can let it go or carry it around - what's your choice?

Prayer - Jesus, today I surrender my pain to you, my memories to you and my rotten emotions to you! Take them from me and help me to not walk in the pain of yesterday. I choose to let them go right now! I pray this in Jesus name! Amen

Key 9 – Let Go!

Here are two words that will change your life: “Let go!” I was in a worship service a couple of years ago and God gave me a vision of someone in the church. In this vision they were holding onto the past while reaching towards their future. Their face expressed great straining, pain and frustration because they were holding onto their past. A better future was literally inches away, but they could not bring themselves to a place of letting go. The reality was that this person had been abused. As a result, they experienced a lot of pain, low self-esteem and an inability to move forward in life. God had something better for them but they would never get it unless they let go of the past. What is it that you are holding onto that God wants you to let go? If you want to move forward and overcome the pain and disappointment, you must let go. Even when you are not sure what lies ahead, you have to let go. You will never find out unless you do. Wounded Heart p. 83

Some things in life just don't make sense. Why would we hold onto pain? But the reality is that we often let the past define us or keep us stuck someplace. It is funny how we embrace the familiar even when it hurts. God's Word is very clear to us that He wants to do new things and that He has great plans for us but we have to move forward to get them.

In order to move forward, we have to let go of the past. Even when we have been wronged and life has not been fair - we must let go. When we let go, we let God into the situation and can walk in the path that He has prepared for us!

Prayer: Dear Jesus, help me to let go of yesterday. Help me to not define myself by my past or my past experiences. Today I choose to let go of pain that I have caused or others have caused and I move forward into Your plans for my life. I pray this in Jesus name - Amen!

The True Recipe for Happiness

We are all looking for happiness and a good life. But very few people find it. Psalm 37:4 is a recipe for happiness in our lives: “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” God is the supplier of all good things. In the Old Testament, one of the names that God uses to describe Himself is El Shaddai, which means “the God who is more than enough.” This literally means that He has more than we could ever use; more things, more happiness, more joy than we can even think or imagine. The problem many of us have is that we spend all of our time and energy going after the things we want instead of going directly to the supplier who can give them to us—and much, much more!

When we put God first in our lives, He promises to take care of the rest. God is the source of the things that will make us happy in our lives. A major step in healing and avoiding a wounded heart is having our needs met. As God meets our need to be loved, we can heal. As God meets our needs, we won’t chase after people to meet them. God also promises to give us a peace that is greater than we can even understand (see Philippians 4:7). When we have this peace, we will choose from the best instead of just choosing from what is available at that time. Wounded Heart pg. 79-80

Few people ever experience God as a giver in the way that they could. We often spend so much time going after the thing we want instead of the only One who realy has the ability to give us the things that bring true joy and happiness.

Many also walk away from God or shut Him out if they don't get what they want right away or have to go through hard times. One of the greatest gifts that God has for us is that He will give us peace in all situations. There is nothing else in the world that can do this.

One thing life has taught me is that I can not get the things that I really need or want in my own strength. I have also realized that people can't get them for me either. This can be a painful realilty or a moment of freedom when we understand this. When I have surrendered my own effort or faith in people, I have received peace and then have seen God move in ways that I could not have made happen on my own. Delight yourself in the Lord and watch what He does!

Prayer: Lord, help me not to settle for what my efforts can achieve. Help me to not expect people or things to make me happy. Teach me to trust and delight myself in You. I pray this in Jesus' name - Amen.

Key 8 – Let God Direct Your Life

As we go through life each day, many people influence our choices and decisions. Advertisers spend millions of dollars trying to direct people to their products and people listen, otherwise they wouldn’t spend that money. Infomercials are on TV and radio because people are influenced by them. Some people proudly boast that no one influences them and that they make their own choices in all things. First, this is not true, and second, God warns against making all of your decisions based on your own knowledge and understanding. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

God is teaching us that no matter how smart we are, we won’t get it right if we don’t lean on Him and allow Him to direct us. The reason so many of us are walking around with wounded hearts is because we trusted in people or things with our heart instead of the Lord. Wounded Heart p. 79

I spent 27 years thinking I could figure things out. I graduated high school, college and completed 3 masters degrees at Columbia University. My graduation day at Columbia was one of my absolute emptiest days of my life. I achieved something that people told me was impossible. I was seen as very smart but deep in my soul I knew that I didn't really know what life was really supposed to be about. I knew that in my own efforts, happiness was beyond my grasp. It was a painful reality.

A little over 2 years later, I stopped trying to learn or achieve my way. I began to follow Jesus through His Word and the leading of the Holy Spirit. This made all the difference in the world. I believe in constant learning and education but the best man has to offer fails in comparison to where God will lead you day 1!

Each day you have a choice. Follow what you think is best, follow what someone else thinks is best or follow God who knows all things. Seems like a simple question on the surface but many people are not following God for many reasons. You can trust Him. I do each day.

Prayer - Lord, I need Your direction right now and every day in my life. Give me ears to hear what You are speaking and the strength and courage to follow Your direction. I pray this in Jesus name - Amen.

Living the Overcoming Lifestyle

Jesus is the great overcomer! In His life on earth, He helped people overcome low self-esteem, weakness, failure, sin, sickness and even death. He overcame sin on the cross and death after three days in the grave. He wants to teach you to overcome the issues you are facing also. One of the things that I love about God is that He doesn’t hide reality from us, He teaches us to flourish in the midst of it. Jesus declares to us that we will have trouble to face and overcome. John 16:33 says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I often joke that this is the one promise that Jesus makes that I don’t like. Jesus never promises to remove every trouble from our lives, but He does tell us that we don’t have to worry about life’s troubles, we just have to overcome them. Followers of Christ, over time, are supposed to become like Jesus and do the things that He did. If He was an overcomer, then we, too, should become more like Him as we overcome both small and big things in life. The key to becoming this type of overcomer is learning from the greatest overcomer Himself. Wounded Heart p. 75

The whole point of having a relationship with Jesus and being a follower of Jesus is that over time, we are transformed to be more and more like Him! Life can often seem like one trial after another. We can grow weary when we focus on each one of them. Over time it can drain us. But when we focus on Jesus and growing to become more like Him, the issues that once seemed large are now like bumps in the road as we move forward. What once held us back like a road block now can become a small bump that we ride over but keep going.

People often come to me with what seems like a huge problem, but after we sit down, understand God's will in the situation and take action, many problems are quickly solved or overcome! Let Jesus teach you day by day through His Word and the power of the Holy Spirit to have an overcoming lifestyle!

Prayer: Jesus, help me to grow to be more and more like You. I ask you to transform the way I think and look at the world. I want to have an overcomer lifestyle so that I can live out my life's purpose in joy and strength! I pray this in Jesus' name - Amen!

Key 7 - Don't Let the Past Determine Your Future

God's Word teaches us that "because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23). Once we have asked for forgiveness and made a choice to live a Christ-centered life, God is not holding our past against us. If God is not holding our past against us, we shouldn't hold our own past against ourselves!

One of the definitions of mercy and compassion is that God forgives us and helps us even when we don't deserve it. Mercy and compassion are a huge blessing because in times of pain we sometimes need help. Mercy means that God overlooks our weaknesses, faults and poor decisions. If we can't get past the pain on our own, God will help us. The reality is that in order to have a great future, we can't let our past or current painful reality define who we really are. Wounded Heart pp. 73-74

One of the things I like to tell people is that God's reality is bigger than our reality. We often get stuck in the day to day business or struggle. God so many times has something better. Even though we are going through our own reality, God has a reality that is better than what we are living in our current lives.

Too many times we just can't see it. But faith means trusting and believing when we can't actually see it! We have to accept God's mercy, healing, guidance and strength to get from our reality to His!

Prayer: Jesus, I know that your reality is better than anything that I can ever do. I receive your mercy and strength right now. Help me get to the better reality that you have waiting for me! I pray this in Jesus name - Amen!

An Ounce of Prevention

An Ounce of Prevention Is Worth a Pound of Cure!

God is very concerned about our well-being and our happiness. He made us with a tremendous ability to feel. You may wonder why God even allows pain. My answer is He has to! You wouldn't know what hot was unless you could compare it to cold. You wouldn't know that something was bad unless you had something good to compare it to. I think that you are only capable of feeling pleasure to the same degree that you are capable of feeling pain. You can't have one without the other. So does God want us to feel pain? I don't think so, but He has made us with the ability to do so. God also uses pain to teach us things. He doesn't cause it, but allows it. From Proverbs 4:23 we can see what God's advice is about our heart. Guard it! It is actually a command. It is not a suggestion or gentle advice, it is very clear.

If you are anything like me, there are times when you don't like being told what to do! But when God tells us to do something, it is always for our benefit. He knows everything about everything. Wounded Heart p. 69

On our journey of healing it is so important that we learn to live by God's Word and the leading of the Holy Spirit. His Word says that the Holy Spirit guides us into all truth. The truth is absolute and the best reality! If we want these things, we must follow God's direction in our lives!

Prayer: Lord, I pray that you help to give me a passion to spend time each day in Your Word and in prayer. Open my heart and mind to receive your direction. Make my time with you a time of prevention so that I walk in a path of healing not of additional pain. I pray this in Jesus' name - Amen.

Key 6 - Learn to Guard Your Heart

Once we have identified and stopped the action or behavior that wounded us, the next step is learning to guard our heart from further damage. This is necessary so that our wound can actually heal. Remember that God's Word teaches us that the "most important" thing we need to do is guard our hearts. "Above all else, guard your heart" (Proverbs 4:23). This tells me two things. First, there are people and things in our world that will damage our hearts if we let them. Second, guarding our heart may not come naturally to us. If it was an automatic instinct that was important to us, we would not have to be told to do it. If we did it naturally, God would not put a priority on it by saying that we should protect our heart "above all else."

It's not realistic that we go through life with no pain or disappointments, but I think that we go through a lot more than we need to. Would you rather learn from a little pain or go through a great deal of pain? We do have a choice. Wounded Heart p. 67

It is amazing how much people fight changing or don't even know that our lives could be different, could be better. We often accept our current reality as just how things are. As I write this, I am thinking of a successful businessman who carries around low self-esteem even though he is successful in so many ways. I think of young adults who define themselves by the past, teens who have their whole lives in front of them but look to the future in despair.

Sometimes we have to guard our hearts in the present, sometimes we have to guard them from the past. We have to understand that today is a new day and yesterday's pain, mistakes or bad situation are in the past. Moving forward means letting go of pain, hurt and disappointment either caused by ourselves or others. We must guard our hearts from reliving and rehearsing these real and painful memories.

Guarding our heart is a present tense action that needs to take place every day.

Prayer: Lord, help me to guard my heart. Teach me to avoid people and situations that will hurt me. Help me to let go and not to relive the pain of yesterday so that I can move forward today. I pray this in Jesus name - Amen!

Don't Get Stuck on Stupid!

In your life, how many things would you go back and do differently? If you are like me the answer is plenty. Today, you are probably a lot smarter than you used to be and have probably stopped some bad habits or stopped repeating things that you used to do that were not good for you. You have already gotten off the "stupid treadmill" in some areas of your life. It may be time to get off the "stupid" and get on the "wisdom and smart" path in some other areas. What's strange in life is that we can have 95% of our lives in order and just 5% stuck on stupid. The unfortunate reality is that depending on what areas of life we struggle with, the 5% can ruin the 95% that is going good. Let's face the 5% of stuck on stupid so we can really enjoy the 95% that is going good. pp. 59-60

I break this down more in the book but please don't get insulted. We have all done some dumb things in life and done some of them more than once! The other aspect that I talk a lot about is not to get stuck on someone else's wrong or unwise actions. We often carry around the pain of someone else's actions towards us long after they care or even remember what they did. We should never let other people's sin and brokeness influence or control us. It is amazing how many of our behaviors follow patterns and cycles. Too many times, we accept our lives based on what someone else did instead of seeking and finding God's will in all areas of our lives!

The Bible talks about how God wants to renew our minds, leave old patterns behind and do new things. If we are not careful, we can define ourselves by our past. We can also just continue doing the same things, hanging out with the same type of people or expecting the same results in our lives. God is always progressive. He always wants us growing, leaving the old dead things behind and giving us new life. Let's get unstuck and keep moving forward!

Prayer: Jesus, I thank you because your mercies are new every morning and you delight in doing new things. Help me get unstuck of unhealthy memories or patterns of behavior. I choose to let go, move forward and receive the better things that you have been preparing for me! I pray this in Jesus name!

Forgiveness Sets Us Free!

The reason we need to address this is because if we don’t, people don’t get healed and can walk around with bitterness for years and even decades. I know of people who are 50 and 60 years old who are carrying around the scars and pain of things that happened in their teen years! I have also seen God do amazing things in people’s lives. Sometimes this results in a greater family relationship. Other times it just means that an individual is healed of past pain. I have worked with youth who were angry at a father they
never met. I have been asked, “How can I forgive someone I have never met?” I have also been asked, “How can I forgive someone who has hurt me, is not sorry and has not changed?”
These are difficult questions but are very important ones. The first thing I would say is that forgiveness is not about the other person, it is about you. Holding onto unforgiveness is bad for you. Bitterness and anger have a way of eating away at you mentally, spiritually and even physically. We need to forgive others for ourselves.

Forgiveness sets you free to live your life. Forgiveness also is different and separate from reconciliation. Reconciliation means that you enter back into a healthy and life giving relationship with the person who has hurt you. That is not possible sometimes when the person refuses to change and continues to do things that will hurt us or is absent or deceased. There are things that are outside of your control, and you can drive yourself crazy trying to change things that you don’t have power to change.
Wounded Heart pg. 53

When you forgive someone, it means that you are letting go of what they did to you. It doesn't mean that it was ok or that you will be close with them again. It means you take a stand, let go of what they did so that you can move forward. Whether or not a friendship or relationship follows is a different matter.

In society today people think that if they say "sorry" that whatever they did is gone or ok. The reality is that the damage may still be there. Forgiveness is one of the needed steps to move towards healing.

Prayer: Jesus, help me to forgive those that have hurt me. Today I choose freedom over the reality of pain so that I can be set free and healed in my heart and emotions. I also ask for wisdom on how to deal with people so that I will not continue to get hurt. I pray this in Jesus name - amen!

Key 4 – Identify the Cause of Your Pain

Just about everyone has been through a significant painful season of life. Our hearts can be hurt by a lot of different things. Many times we think about broken hearts from a romantic point of view. This is only one way that our hearts can be wounded. If we are going to have healthy emotions and a healthy outlook on life, we have to live life with our heart and soul in a place of peace. This means identifying events and situations that have hurt us in the past or that we are currently going through. I have worked with people who lived in abusive situations. Their goal was to be free and healed of past pain but they couldn’t do that because of their living situation. Their first step to healing and wholeness was moving out! This may seem difficult, but at times is absolutely necessary. I have seen others stay in an abusive situation and watched it destroy them over time.

Other patterns may have to be broken. Some people expect to fail because of past experiences or what they have been told throughout life, especially while growing up. We are shaped by the voices that we listen to. Many people grow up hearing negative things and they allow their lives to be shaped and defined by this negativity. We have to begin to study God’s Word and allow Him to define us, not someone else who was speaking through their own pain. Wounded Heart pp. 51-52

God created us to live great lives. Too many times, past experiences hinder us from enjoying today. To move past the pain of today, we have to look at some of our past experiences that we are still carrying with us or may be going through right now.

2 words often worry me when I ask people how they are doing and they say: "I'm fine". Now praise God that many are doing fine, but I have asked people who have experienced a great deal of pain and they look at you and say "I'm fine" when they pretty much can't be.

Let's be real with ourselves and name those things that have hurt us. Let's end bad situations if we need to. Either way, after we bring the painful past to God, let's ask Him to heal us. This is not only for ourselves, but for your relationships and even they way that you treat others. If we don't overcome past pain, it will affect both our personal and professional relationships!

Prayer: Jesus, today I come to you and ask you to help me. Help me to know what emotional pain I am carrying around and help me let go of it. Right now I give you my past pain. Help me to move forward, free from the past, to have internal peace and be stronger than ever! I pray this in Jesus name - amen.

Key 3 – Allow Your Pain & Disappointment to Drive You to God

On our journey to healing, we have two choices. We can allow our pain and disappointment to either drive us to God or drive us away from God. We can either begin to know God as the Healer or have growing feelings of bitterness or distance from God. It really is a choice. God is available but we have to choose to go to Him. I have seen people take both roads. I have taken both roads. In my own experience, the one that leads to God is the better road. It is not always an easy road, but it is always a better road.

I don’t know of anything that can heal wounded hearts besides God. Time may make the pain seem less and we always have to move on in life. We can achieve things that may make up for past failures and that can help. We can begin new relationships, but many times there are things from the past that just “pop up” from time to time, that can reignite all kinds of negative memories and feelings.

I got to a point where I just wanted to start over again. One of the things that was frustrating in my life was that I felt like I had started over so many times. Each time I started over, it was just a matter of time until I was starting over again. I felt like one of those little hamsters running like crazy on his wheel but getting nowhere! pp. 45-46

The secret to getting off the hamster wheel of pain and disappointment is running to God. It is quite interesting that many times in life we run away from the very thing we need most. We even blame the only One who can help us! Yes God is all powerful, but we have to recieve His power!

Prayer: Lord today, I choose to come to you with my pain. I give you my pain. I give you my diappointment and I walk away from it. I ask Your presence to replace the pain and bring me healing. I pray this in Jesus' name - amen.

Key 2 – Understand How Important Your Heart Is

With a house full of small children, we have to constantly make sure that we are not leaving valuable items around. We had a brand new cell phone disappear. Brand new bottles of lotion, hair care products and soap will get dumped out or smeared on the wall. We have had walls, doors and television sets written on with pen, markers and crayons. Jewelry, remote controls, computers and electronic games have been lost, damaged and even broken. Little children have no concept of how valuable things are. Just like these wonderful, precious children, we often don’t have a proper understanding of how important our hearts are and how we should protect and care for them.


God cares very much about your heart. It amazes me that God cares about my heart more than I care about it myself. This may sound strange but it is very true for many people. If you look around the world you see many people giving their hearts away to just about anybody. So many individuals are walking around with low self-esteem, while others may be quite proud of themselves but don’t have any regard for how they live and the consequences down the road. Wounded Heart pg. 39



It amazes me to see how little some people actually consider the importance of their hearts. They are driven to make their hearts happy by chasing after the next accomplishment, relationship or achievement without any consideration of their heart.



Like little children who don't know the value of true gold over plastic gold, many teens and adults are walking around without the an understanding of the true value of their own heart. In an attempt to fulfill the needs of their hearts, people often put themselves into positions that actually keep their hearts from being fulfilled.



Prayer: Lord, help me to value my own heart. Teach me to value myself and my heart as much as you do. I pray this in Jesus name - amen.

So What Does True Love Look Like?

True love does two things: It protects and provides. There are many different things that we call love, but love is much more than a feeling or sensation. In its purest and most powerful form, love is a choice and it is action. What we do is much more powerful than what we feel. Feelings come and go. True love doesn’t change like the wind. If you want to know if someone loves you, just watch what they do. Do they protect you from things that would harm you and provide you with the things that you need like friendship, companionship, support and encouragement? Just think about that a little and remember that true love does two things: It protects and it provides. Wounded Heart p. 36

So much of our society is based on what people feel right now. One of the greatest keys to living a great life is consistency to values, principles and actions. Feelings are often the enemy of true love. True love demands that I do many things that I don't want to. Those of us that are married and/or have children know that love drives them every day to do things they don't "feel" like doing!

True love also doesn't change like the weather. True love is like a house built on a solid foundation. Through sunny days and storms - it stands. We often settle for a feeling that can change at the drop of a hat. If you are going to overcome past pain and disappointments and avoid future ones, you must learn to walk in true love and expect and actually demand it from others.

While we can't force people to love us this way, we can make sure that we don't settle for anything less. This means both being careful with who we expect to show is this kind of love but also to do all we can to help others understand, experience and walk in this kind of love also. This is impossible without God. This is why we should not enter into a romantic kind of love with anyone who doesn't truly love the Lord. We should also be careful with our friends. Yes, we need to be friends with many people and share Christ with all, but we need to make sure that our closest friends are on the same page and walking in God's love and Lordship.

Prayer: Jesus, continue to teach me what true love is. Teach me to expect people to love me in what they say and do in addition to what they feel. True love protects and provides, help me to settle for nothing less and use me to demonstrate what true love is wherever I go. I pray this in Jesus name - amen.

Key 1 - Learn What True Love Is

Our world is full of “experts.” We can turn on the radio, TV or go to the bookstore to hear or read great advice from the “experts.” It is amazing how many of yesterday’s experts are now seen as flawed or even flat out wrong. The world is full of marriage experts who are on their second or third marriage! I couldn’t believe it when I heard that the son one of the greatest “child experts” committed suicide. I think that we are often too quick to accept things we hear as good advice from whoever is most popular. So the question is, “Who do we go to when we want to understand the heart?” Science teaches us that everything that is organized and has a specific design and purpose needs a creator—someonewho planned it and put it together. That creation is designed to work a certain way, under certain conditions, and be maintained a certain way. Wounded Heart p. 33

The heart was created by God. It was created to feel and express so that we could live a life of passion and fulfillment. Along the way, our hearts grow or can be hurt. Love is one of the main driving forces behind our heart. If we don't know where to go to grow and where to go when we are hurt, we will be in trouble.

Knowing what true love is, the God kind of love, is absolutely necessary to live life to the fullest. Forget about the romance stuff for a minute. We need to understand, experience and walk in the love of God just so that we can be better people and enjoy life each day.

Now when it comes to relationships - family, friends and yes the romance type. There are so many "experts" out there that getting a clear understanding of how we should treat people and how they should treat us can be quite confusing. When we go to the author of life and the God described in the Bible as "God is love" that's the place to begin.

I literally learned what real love was from God Himself and through His Word the Bible. This may seem foreign to you, and it was for me but God began to teach me Himself. His presence in my life grew through prayer, study of God's Word and worship.

Prayer: Lord teach me what true love is. Remove all of the false definitions and improper examples of love that I have seen and experienced. Teach me what true love is so that I will settle for nothing less. I pray this in Jesus name - Amen

Delicate, fragile and wonderful

Your heart is soft, delicate and fragile. But it is also wonderful and capable of feeling so many awesome things. Imagine your heart is like a sponge. The reason a sponge can work is because it is soft. Because it is soft, it can absorb things. Also, because a sponge is soft, you can squeeze it and out comes whatever was absorbed. Just like a heart! A heart must be soft so that it can absorb love. It also must be soft so that it can be squeezed, like from a big hug, and the love can be given away.

Have you ever tried to wipe something up with a completely dry sponge? It doesn’t work very well and can’t absorb or be squeezed out. It only works when it is a little moist. Too many times, our hearts are hurt and become dried up and cannot absorb or give away love. When we learn how to take care of our hearts, we can keep them from drying up and causing us to live with no joy, hope, happiness or hunger to live life to the fullest. My hope is that we can learn how to live our lives in such a way that our hearts do what they are supposed to do. Wounded Heart pp. 29-30

I have one more example of what a heart is like. Your heart is like a beautiful crystal, finely cut, thin vase. Even if you’re a 6-foot, 3-inch middle linebacker, that describes your heart! Back to the vase: It is finely crafted, has great detail and is very valuable. Now if I took that vase and slammed it on the ground, what would happen? It would break into a million pieces. So we should just make sturdier vases, right?

Imagine this. My wife’s favorite flowers are tulips. When I buy my wife flowers, I will usually get her a dozen tulips. Just imagine if I was afraid of putting them inside a beautiful, fragile vase because I was afraid it would break. What if instead, on my way home, I pulled over to the side of the road and picked up a dirty, ugly rock, chipped a hole in it for the flowers, threw it in the back of my pickup truck and brought it home. On the way, I think about my new boulder vase with great pride. It will never break, we can have it forever and my wife will love it! Imagine that I walk into the house with those beautiful flowers in that dirty, old, ugly rock that I decided to turn into a vase. I’ve never tried it, but I don’t think that my wife would appreciate my creativity and everlasting vase. Wounded Heart pp. 30-31

The reality is for our hearts to be beautiful, they must be breakable.

This ends our introduction of Wounded Heart. We are now ready to get into some very practical keys to overcoming life's pain and disappointments. Remember that your heart is beautiful and so are you!!!

Tune in soon as we get ready for Key #1 Learn What True Love Is...

Preparing to Move Past the Pain of Today

Chapter 3

For many of us, pain has become a constant companion. It has become part of our lives and just seems normal. This is not God's will or plan. He is not the source or our pain, but He is the one who helps us overcome it and be healed from it. The more intentional we are in overcoming and moving past our pain, the sooner and deeper our healing will be. The first step is not accepting the pain. Your pain may be fresh or years old, but it has to go. Let's get ready for that journey. It may take time and will probably be painful along the way, but it is a road we have to travel.

Disappointment, failure, rejection, betrayal and broken dreams can wound your heart. This can be temporary or go on forever! p. 27 Wounded Heart

Chapter 3 of Wounded Heart deals with preparing to move past the pain of today. Most of us are probably more like, "Prepare??? Let's go, let's get rid of it!" But in reality, many people are often shaped, molded and even "comfortable" with their pain. Kind of like an old friend or family member who you put up with because you have to!

You don't have to walk in pain either on a regular basis or have it come and go in those lonely or stressful times. Let's get ready. God wants to do amazing things in your life, we have to be prepared for it. Let's pray...

Prayer - "Jesus you are my healer. I am ready for my healing journey. Today I give you my pain, my heartache and my disappointments. Help prepare me for all that you want to do in my heart. I pray this in Jesus name - Amen."

We Can't Depend on Own Thinking and Wisdom

When speaking to groups, I often ask questions like: "How many have ever done something that seemed right or felt right, but later regretted it?" I usually get a bunch of hands and a lot of smirks, laughs and other funny faces and comments. Much of life's pain is actually caused by us doing what seems right at the time. I discuss this on our way to learning how to let God lead us in our lives.

The second condition is "not leaning on our own understanding." This means that we can not just trust our own thinking, wisdom and decisions. This can be difficult because society teaches us to be self-reliant and that we are weak when we depend on others. The reality is that when we compare ourselves to God, we are weak, lack wisdom and at times are terrible decision makers. We must acknowledge that God knows us and the world around us a whole lot better than we do.

Acknowledging God

God's Words says, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6) This means when we acknowledge we need Him, He helps us. p. 24

God doesn't lead us into pitfalls and failures. Humility is key in experiencing God's power and presence in our lives. Each day, bring your issues to Jesus, lay them at the cross, ask for help. God wants to help you more than you want to help yourself!

It begins with laying down pride and acknowledging not only your need for a Savior but for a Lord.

Trusting the Lord

Chapter 2

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

Most people read this scripture and picture God as a happy crossing guard who points you in the right direction so that you can continue on your merry way. It can mean this, but it also means that we are to trust God when we don't understand what is going on in life. People often ask themselves questions like: "How did this happen?" or "How did I get into this?" It is in these moments where God becomes more real to us than ever before. He promises to make our paths straight. That is a poetic way of saying that He will lead us in the right and best direction. The issue is that for Him to do that we have to do our part. Our part is to acknowledge Him in all our ways. We often don't receive His direction because we don't really acknowledge Him and seek His input into our lives. Wounded Heart pgs. 22-23

I wrote about this scripture after describing my experiences after my wife miscarried twins. It was our dream to have twins. Trusting God is a easier to do in good times. Acknowledging, trusting and seeking His guidance takes on a whole different meaning during pain and crisis. This was one of those times in life where I learned to trust God at some of the worst moments of my life.

There is a lot more to that story but the bottom line is that I have learned to trust God at all times. In Wounded Heart, I delve much deeper into this. All I can say is that God is available at all times and especially during the worst times. He will never leave you or forsake you.

We live in a fallen world where many things happen that are not part of God's will for our lives but He is there to help us through these times. God is not the author of our pain, but He is the one that gets us through our pain and onto healing. We must trust Him to get there!

Trusting God in the Middle of Pain

Chapter 2

It is very difficult to trust anyone when we are in pain. Our natural instinct is to protect ourselves. When we trust someone, we must be vulnerable to them. That's what trust is. Trust is letting down your guard to someone who you believe will help and protect you. In times of pain this is hard, if not impossible. I have struggled with trusting people. When people let us down or hurt us at very crucial times in life, it can have a way of burning something into our soul, causing us to not be willing or able to trust others. It is not healthy if we have no one to trust. For me, learning to trust people began with learning to trust God in some painful situations. Wounded Heart pg. 19

One of the mistakes that people often make is that they judge God based on what people have done. This causes us to look at God through the flawed character of man. If we view God this way we will not trust Him because of what a person did.

The next thing that often happens is that this distrust of God becomes permanent. Then the reality kicks in that we have to trust somebody. We often forgive man and hold a grudge against God! At this point, people then are trusting imperfect and flawed man but either refuse or aren't able to trust God! This creates a cycle of ongoing disappointment.

The key is learning to trust God in the middle of our pain. I often tell people that: "God is not the author of you the situation you are in, but He is the way out". God does not cause all things. In our free will, we often set ourselves up for failure or to be hurt or to hurt others.

God does not change, He is available and He wants to help you. In your pain, run to God, not away from Him. He is the Healer, He is the source of wisdom that we need.

Yes, we must have people to trust in our lives, but most importantly, we must trust Jesus day in and day out.

Coming to the End of Ourselves

Life has it's ups and downs. Below is how Chpt. 1 of Wounded Heart ends. It's about coming to the end of ourselves and learning to lean on and rely on our Creator.

When people come to me after they've been fired, failed at something or been betrayed, I talk with them and comfort them. But most importantly, I point them to Jesus. I understand that I am limited, but God is limitless. When we come to the end of ourselves, we are just getting to the beginning of God. This is something the you must experience for yourself. My goal is to help you connect with God. He will not only heal you, but guide you to make right choices that will help you avoid failures, pitfalls and wrong people. It's about having a relationship with Jesus. He promises that when you seek Him, He will be found! So don't travel this bumpy road alone. Invite God to be a part of your journey and surround yourself with people who are for you and not against you.

Yes, pain is a harsh reality, but God is bigger than your pain. With God there is hope. Each day is a new opportunity. The healing of a wounded heart is a journey, so let's get ready to take the next step. Wounded Heart - pg. 17

Process, process, process - this is the key to change in life. If we embrace the process that God wants to bring us through our lives will be changed. No process = no change.

Take a moment and just ask Jesus to help you. Take the things that are weighing heavy on you and surrender them to Jesus. Let Him take away the weight of yesterday's pain.

Pain is real but so is the healing power of Jesus Christ.

There is a peace that comes when we admit that we can't solve everything and invite Jesus into our situations. Take the journey one step at a time!

Taking a Journey of Healing

Overcoming pain is often a journey. For many people, they think overcoming pain is a drink away or whatever there own self-medication system may be. The next relationship, the next adventure, the next....

When I was 17 I made a declaration that I would never let anyone or anything hurt me again. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made. I began to walk in a world of numbness that was only broken by pain or sorrow. In trying to shut out pain, I shut out joy and happiness. Following is from Chpt. 1 of Wounded Heart as I explain how my journey of healing began.

"I was walking up a steep hill in New York City around Broadway and 123rd Street on a very cold day. The wind was burning my face, and all of a sudden I realized that this was the first time I had felt anything in a long time. I was actually happy to feel the pain - to feel anything. At that moment something hit me and I decided I wanted to live and love again. I accepted the fact that I might have to go through pain. I knew that feeling joy, pleasure and love would only be possible if I were willing to take a chance at being hurt. I was tired of being a tough guy. So the journey began.

They say the longest journey begins with a single step. I took my first step on that cold winter night." WH - pg. 12

It seems funny now but my declaration of never feeling pain was the result of losing a football game at 17 and a few bad choices that I made. It was the start of 10 years of a growing emptiness within me. I have learned a lot since then.

Whatever the source of your pain, God can heal it. My sources started out as simple disappointments but grew because I did not deal with them. In my disillusionment with life, I just kept on making bad choices and decisions. Much of my life was on track but all it takes is occasional bad choice and life will not go the way that it could. Don't make the same mistake I did.

Let's take a journey over the next 8 weeks to a better place. A place of healing, wholeness, victory and joy. You don't have to know all the steps, just take one at a time and let God do the rest!

Share your comments online and share this blog with others. People need healing, please share this resource. This is not theory to me, I have lived it.

Be blessed!

Jack

The Power of Intentionality

Our time, energy and ability to focus on things is limited.

We have to fit so many things into our daily schedules that we often can't get to everything. It seems like our days are filled with activities that consume every moment we have. Whether it's school, work, family, friends etc. the days slip by.

PROBLEM: We are so busy that we often neglect intentional personal growth.

Personal ongoing growth is the key to a better life. We can not be who God created us to be without ongoing growth. We must also continue to grow wiser day by day so that we can position ourselves for all of the things that God wants to do in our lives.

In 2 days on July 1st, we will intentionally begin a period of personal growth as we take 8 weeks to work through my latest book: Wounded Heart: Keys to Overcoming Life's Pain and Disappointments.

I invite you to join us as we read and discuss 2 chapters a week and discuss it online.

A few things we will look at will include:

1. Recognizing the pains that we are still carrying with us.
2. Allowing life's pain to drive us to God.
3. Ending or overcoming the source of the pain.
4. Growing in wisdom.

These are just a taste of what is to come as we go through a process of healing and personal growth.

I invite you to join me as we intentionally spend time focussing on getting to the place where we are experiencing life to the fullest!

In this together - Jack

www.4thgen.org

Time Alone Doesn't Heal

People often say that time heals all wounds. In my personal experience and what I have seen in others, time makes a difference but doesn't heal the pain and disappointments of life on its own.

God's Word teaches us that He is the Healer of our heart wounds:

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3 NIV

Heart wounds come from being disapointed, let down, living in difficult situations and even our own failures or personal weaknesses. Like splinters that cause infection over time, God wants to pull out anything lodged in our minds, souls and spirits so that healing and wholeness can take place.

Beginning next Wednesday, July 1st, we will start an 8 week book discussion group on this blog http://woundedheart4thgen.blogspot.com/. We will cover 2 chapters a week which will cover most of the summer. I will make 2 - 3 posts a week and welcome your comments.

I am driven to get this message out to people. Many people are hurting. Others are doing well but going through life with some things that God wants to help them work through, overcome, or just leave behind.

God heals the brokenhearted. When it says that He "binds up their wounds" it means that He wraps them up, protects them, He "puts them in a cast" so they can heal. Bones take 4-8 weeks to heal. I pray that hearts will be healed in the weeks to come on this journey.

When I speak to people who have read this book they all say something like: "I am going to give a copy of this to.." or "I know someone that really needs this book". Please help me get the word out to others. God is the Healer but He works through regular people like you and me. Please let people know about the book, the blog and discussion group.

God also works through us to help others, as He is healing us. Trust me - I know.

If you still need to get your personal copy, you can go to my website: www.4thgen.org or from Amazon or other online book stores. Book stores and churches can also get volume discounts by calling the publisher direct at: 866-381-2665 Ext. 1173.

Let's take this journey together beginning nex Wednesday!

In this together - Jack

A Storm in the Hand of God

On Thursday, it rained and rained and rained! What a yucky day! On Friday, I woke up, the sun was shining, the grass was amazingly green and the flowers were exploding with bright colors!

What a difference 24 hours can make. What seemed like a monsoon one day was simply gone the next. Not only was the storm gone, but the aftermath was actually beautiful!

This is what God can do with a storm. He can take the rain and the water and use it for good. God can do the same thing with all the storms in your life!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 NIV

Many people misuse this scripture. It does not mean that God causes all things!!! People cause many things that are not part of God's will or plans! What this scripture means is that God is so powerful, that He is able to cause good to come out of any situation!

Sound impossible? It is for us but: Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26 NIV

I have seen God do the impossible again and again in the natural, emotional and spiritual! We are 11 days away from the Wounded Heart book disscussion beginning on July 1st. You are invited to take part in experiencing God's power to heal wounded hearts and to take the storms of life and use them to bring amazing changes.

Sound impossible? With man it is but not with God! Give your storm to God and see what He does with it!

Be blessed today - Jack

Wounded Heart Book Description

Pain is one of the harsh realities of life. It can suddenly smack you in the face or slowly eat away at your soul. Pain is real, and we have to deal with it. It comes from the disappointments, failures and conflicts we all have to face.

Wounded Heart: Keys to Overcoming Life’s Pain and Disappointments will take you on a spiritual journey from a current state of pain and disappointment to a place of wholeness and living the great life that God already has planned for you.

Wounded Heart begins with topics such as: The Reality of Pain, Trusting God in the Middle of Pain and Preparing to Move Past the Pain of Today. This is followed by 12 key steps you can take. Life is a journey and learning how to overcome life’s pain and disappointments is essential to living a great life!

To purchase your copy of Wounded Heart, please go to www.4thgen.org and click on the Wounded Heart book icon.

Beginning in July, I will be writing posts on 2 chapters each week and giving feedback to some of your questions and comments. This is not theory to me, God has helped me overcome so much. I look forward to sharing more with you in the days to come.

In this together - Jack