Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Forgiveness Sets Us Free!
The reason we need to address this is because if we don’t, people don’t get healed and can walk around with bitterness for years and even decades. I know of people who are 50 and 60 years old who are carrying around the scars and pain of things that happened in their teen years! I have also seen God do amazing things in people’s lives. Sometimes this results in a greater family relationship. Other times it just means that an individual is healed of past pain. I have worked with youth who were angry at a father they
never met. I have been asked, “How can I forgive someone I have never met?” I have also been asked, “How can I forgive someone who has hurt me, is not sorry and has not changed?”
These are difficult questions but are very important ones. The first thing I would say is that forgiveness is not about the other person, it is about you. Holding onto unforgiveness is bad for you. Bitterness and anger have a way of eating away at you mentally, spiritually and even physically. We need to forgive others for ourselves.
Forgiveness sets you free to live your life. Forgiveness also is different and separate from reconciliation. Reconciliation means that you enter back into a healthy and life giving relationship with the person who has hurt you. That is not possible sometimes when the person refuses to change and continues to do things that will hurt us or is absent or deceased. There are things that are outside of your control, and you can drive yourself crazy trying to change things that you don’t have power to change.
Wounded Heart pg. 53
When you forgive someone, it means that you are letting go of what they did to you. It doesn't mean that it was ok or that you will be close with them again. It means you take a stand, let go of what they did so that you can move forward. Whether or not a friendship or relationship follows is a different matter.
In society today people think that if they say "sorry" that whatever they did is gone or ok. The reality is that the damage may still be there. Forgiveness is one of the needed steps to move towards healing.
Prayer: Jesus, help me to forgive those that have hurt me. Today I choose freedom over the reality of pain so that I can be set free and healed in my heart and emotions. I also ask for wisdom on how to deal with people so that I will not continue to get hurt. I pray this in Jesus name - amen!
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